i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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