My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
Randomize
