I just made out with a guy for $7.
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Randomize
