Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
