Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
