hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Everything about him screamed your future.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
