I just made out with a guy for $7.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Randomize
