Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
