so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Randomize
