it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
Fuck appropriateness.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
