I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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