I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
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