Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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