Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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