After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Randomize
