we're blogging at a bar
Dual....:-)
I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
