It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize
