It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
