i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
