Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Holy sore nipples Batman
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Randomize
