I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
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