DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
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