Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
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