Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
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