Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
