Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
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