obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
