i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
