You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Randomize
