he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
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