Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
