Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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