You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
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