North Korea, Best Korea!
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
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