Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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