How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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