I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I look better un-naked...
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
Randomize
