I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
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