My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Randomize
