I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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