True but thats because hes a fetus.
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Randomize
