How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Randomize