We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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