Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Text me some of your sweat
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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