this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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