my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
As shirtless as possible
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
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