shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
