you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize
