I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
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