idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
