Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
