stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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