I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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