Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
