your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
I just saw a hot homeless man
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Randomize
