Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Randomize
