So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize