your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
