how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
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