But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize