Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
