Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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