he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize
