WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
