Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize
