There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Randomize
