forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
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