I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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